The Babylon Bee on Pastors “Doing Life Together”

doing-life-696x359Evangelical pastors love to talk about “doing life together.”  This phrase is basically used to describe the practice of spending time with members of their congregations in order to build relationships.  Some pastors like to “do life together” with their pastoral staff by planning elaborate “retreats” in exotic locals under the guise of “team building.”

As some of you may know, The Babylon Bee has become the equivalent of The Onion for the evangelical subculture. Here is the website’s take on pastors “doing life together.”

The article is entitled “Pastor Admits ‘Doing Life Together’ Just an Excuse to do Whatever.

KENOSHA, WI—Pastor Doug Gosport, 53, admitted that his recent forays into “doing life together” with people in his church and community were really just an excuse to do whatever he felt like doing, sources confirmed Monday.

“Frankly, it’s genius,” Gosport reportedly crowed to three of his friends during a weekend golf outing. “Normally, you get all sorts of flak from the family if you want to go grab something to eat and just watch the game, you know? But if I tell my wife I’ve got some guys I need to ‘do life with,’ she instantly approves, no questions asked. That’s actually what I told her I’m doing right now!” he laughed, before stepping up to the tee box and driving the ball.

“So basically, it’s a ticket to do whatever I want,” Gosport continued. “I just call it ‘doing life together,’ and boom—I can do no wrong. The other day, I was supposed to paint the garage, but I put on my concerned face and said I really needed to go ‘do life’ with Jerry. So Jerry and I got to go fishing for five hours instead. Jerry’s a Unitarian. We talked about John Wayne movies the entire time.”

According to sources, Gosport went on to note that the applications of “doing life together” are essentially limitless.

“Basically, whatever you want to do becomes a church-endorsed evangelical activity—write-offs and all—as long as you use those magic words. This month alone, I’ve used it to go to Ed’s Pub three times, a ball game, bowling, and the Boat, Sport, and Travel Show. The elder board even told me the other day that they’re super-impressed at how I’m ‘continually coming alongside’ others.”

The group was reportedly planning to go “do life” at a local Buffalo Wild Wings after the conclusion of their round.