What if College Classes Had Corporate Sponsors?

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What if the 700 Club sponsored a university course on Comparative Religion?

As universities become more and more corporate, writer Suzanne Fernandez Gray wonders what it might look like if academic courses eventually get corporate sponsors.  Read her very funny piece at McSweeney’s.

Here are a few of my favorites:

A-H 350 TWENTIETH CENTURY ART

Sponsored by Hobby Lobby

Through lectures, readings, discussions and research, this course examines major issues raised in art and criticism from 1900-1999. Students will learn that Georgia O’Keeffe’s flowers are definitely just flowers, and that Andres Serrano’s Piss Christ is proof of the collapse of American morals and the need for prayer in public schools.

 

JOU 532 ETHICS OF JOURNALISM

Section 001: Sponsored by Fox News Network

Section 002: Sponsored by CNN

An examination of ethics in the media. Students will reason through issues that arise in the practice of journalism like how to cut off the mic when an opposing guest’s argument gets too credible and how to draw fancy charts to make nonsensical points look like facts.

PS 440 THE PRESIDENCY

Sponsored by Koch Industries

This course explores the political genius of the 45th President of the United States through his relationships with foreign leaders like Little Rocket Man, Mad Alex and The Dopey Prince, while also demonstrating the ineptitude of those who hate America, including Cryin’ Chuck, Sneaky Dianne Feinstein and Pocahontas. Part of the class will be devoted to the President’s tweets and how people in the fake news media, including Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd, Psycho Joe Scarborough, Little George Stephanopoulos and Dumb as a Rock Mika can’t pull anything over on the man Sen. Orrin Hatch recently called a better president than Lincoln or Washington.

RS 130 INTRODUCTION TO COMPARATIVE RELIGION

Sponsored by The 700 Club


Comparative study of major world religions of which there is only one: Christianity. Students will explore the merits of the Spanish Inquisition and learn how something similar should be implemented in the U.S. in the interest of national security, only with Evangelicals in charge instead of Catholics. Course fees cover a field trip to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY where students will be able to see a diorama of dinosaurs aboard an exact replica of Noah’s Ark.

Read them all here.  Enroll now! 🙂

The Author’s Corner with Richard Carwardine

61d4we2M85L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_Richard Carwardine is Professor Emeritus at Oxford University. This interview is based on his new book, Lincoln’s Sense of Humor (Southern Illinois University Press, 2017).

JF: What led you to write Lincoln’s Sense of Humor?

RC: It began when I asked myself: why did Abraham Lincoln hold the satirist David Ross Locke, creator of a fictional Copperhead bigot – Petroleum V. Nasby – in so high esteem that he told the author, “For the genius to write these things I would gladly give up my office.” I addressed this question, and Lincoln’s humor more generally, in a conference talk that prompted an invitation to write a book on the subject – an idea I welcomed, given the paucity of work taking Lincoln’s humor seriously.

JF: In 2 sentences, what is the argument of Lincoln’s Sense of Humor?

RC: Since his death, Lincoln’s stories and jokes have become detached from the context that gave them their political and cultural bite, in the process losing their immediate ironic and satiric purpose. The book aims to locate Lincoln’s rich sense of humor in time and place, arguing that how and why he deployed it should be taken seriously: as a source of personal well-being, as a risky but largely profitable means of securing political advantage, and in some respects as an expression of ethical principle.

JF: Why do we need to read Lincoln’s Sense of Humor?

RC: Lincoln’s humor was not peripheral: it was a reflexive outgrowth of his personality and expressed his essential humanity. It co-existed with self-absorbed contemplation and melancholy. He told an Iowa Congressman that his recourse to humor was an indispensable relief from his “hours of depression.” Using a bow and arrow as a boy, he said, he had learnt that “one must let up on the bow if the arrow is to have force.” He added, “You flaxen men with broad faces are born with cheer, and don’t know a cloud from a star. I am of another temperament.”

Throughout his life he worked to develop the humorist’s craft and hone the art of story-telling. The book explores the versatility, range of expressions, and multiple sources of his humor: western tall tales, morality stories, bawdy jokes, linguistic tricks, absurdities, political satire, and sharp wit. Nothing gave him greater pleasure than satirical work that lampooned hypocrisy and ethical double standards.

It would be wrong to think of Lincoln’s jocularity and story-telling as a frivolous appendix to his politics. He used humor as a political tool throughout his life; he was the first president consistently to make story-telling and laughter tools of office. No occupant of the White House has since exceeded his talent in this respect. He used stories to secure political or personal advantage, sometimes by frontal assault on opponents, but more commonly by exposition through parable, refusal through wit, and diversion through hilarity. The book analyses popular reactions to Lincoln’s jocularity and the waves of criticism it elicited during his presidency. It was a risky business, retailing jokes while the nation was engaged in an existential struggle costing some three-quarters of a million lives. At the same time, however, his reputation for wit and story-telling colored his image as a man of the people, a president who remained accessible to, and in touch with, the plain folk amongst whom he had moved throughout his life.

JF: When and why did you decide to become an American historian?

RC: The USA fascinated many of those growing up, as I did, in the Welsh mining valleys, where there was a strong sense of transatlantic connection, through emigration and politics. One of my ancestors was the president of the United Mine Workers of America and chief founder of the CIO, John L. Lewis. As an undergraduate student at Oxford University in the 1960s, I felt the particular tug of American history. Don E. Fehrenbacher was the visiting Harmsworth Professor at the time, and he lectured on ‘Slavery and Secession’, the celebrated course designed by Allan Nevins that ran for over twenty successive years in Oxford. That introduced me to some of the great works of American history, including Fehrenbacher’s Prelude to Greatness, Kenneth Stampp’s Peculiar Institution, and David Potter’s Lincoln and His Party in the Secession Crisis. I was hooked. I secured an Oxford graduate scholarship in American History, one that took me to Berkeley for the year 1969-70. There I not only studied American history but lived through its making.

JF: What is your next project?

RC: A study of American religious nationalism from the founding of the Republic to Reconstruction.

JF: Thanks, Richard!

“If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox”

Grant-Lee

I recently reread humorist James Thurber’s classic piece, “If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox.”  The blog of the Library of America (LOA) has posted it here.  It was originally published in the New Yorker in 1930 and got a second life thirty years later in A Thurber Carnival.

Here is some context from the LOA blog:

At the end of 1930 Scribner’s Magazine began publishing what would prove to be a short-lived series of “alternative history” pieces. The first installment, in the November issue, was “If Booth Had Missed Lincoln.” This was followed by a contribution from none other than Winston Churchill, who turned the concept on its head. It was bafflingly titled “If Lee Had Not Won the Battle of Gettysburg”—but, as we all know, Lee didn’t win the Battle of Gettysburg. Instead, Churchill’s essay purported to be written by a historian in a world in which Lee had won not only the battle but also the entire war. This fictional historian, in turn, speculates what might have happened if Lee had not won the battle. This type of dizzying zaniness brought out the parodist in Thurber, who published “If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox” in The New Yorker in December. The next month Scribner’s published a third essay (“If Napoleon Had Escaped to America”) before bring the series to an end. All three pieces were soon forgotten, but Thurber’s parody became one of his most famous and beloved works. 

Three decades later “If Grant Had Been Drinking at Appomattox” enjoyed a second life when it was included in the hit revue A Thurber Carnival. Virtually every review proclaimed it as one of the show’s highlights. During an interview, a reporter admitted to Thurber that “the Grant skit” was one of her favorite parts of the show. Thurber responded, “A woman said to me, ‘I don’t like the bastardization of history,’ That woman didn’t know the point of the thing and she didn’t know history. And I don’t like my humor to be called mild and gentle.” 

Read the 4-page piece here.  It is worth your time.

What If We Had A Museum Devoted To American Historiography?

Last night historian T.J. Stiles tweeted:

I love this idea–a museum devoted to American historiography.  What would go in such a museum?  Here are some suggestions from the #amhistmuseum hasthag I created to “promote” it.

Follow along and add your own suggests: #amhistmuseum

Quote of the Day

Flat earth

“The orthodox say their faith makes them a persecuted minority, mocked to their faces by friends and strangers for nothing more than First Amendment-protected beliefs. ‘We get accused of being idiots, of doing it for money,’ Knodel said. ‘Believe me, there’s only humiliation in this. We do it because we believe it.'”

–From an article on a Fort Collins group who believe the earth is flat.

The Oxford Comma Has An Online Dating Profile

CommaI always use the Oxford comma, so I appreciated Molly Collins‘s piece at McSweeney’s. Here’s a taste:

Full Name: Oxford Stanford Comma
Nickname (s): Real, slim, and shady
Age: Debated
Height: 12 pt.
Body Type: Curvy
Occupation: Point of Clarification
Seeking: Adjectives, verbs, and participles within a 0.1-centimeter radius.

About Me

I recently moved to this paragraph, so I don’t know any punctuation here. I’ve got a sequence of esteemed, beloved, and admirable attributes. In my previous clause, I was heralded as staunch, stout, and necessary. I’m one with which to have a good, great, and grand time, and I’m in touch with my wants, needs, and emotions, and I’m not afraid to get declarative, imperative, interrogative, and exclamatory for a pretty, prim, and proper part of speech. I need a babe, baby, or bae that likes to tour, travel, and trip to exotic locales, locations, and luxurious destinations and even fancies the quainter quests, like hanging out On the Banks of Plum Creek, cuddling on the side of a Cold Mountain, and forgiving me for getting her Lost in Tokyo.

Read the entire thing here.