Tips for Holiday Networking from "The Onion"

NEW YORK—Emphasizing the importance of “developing contacts and getting your name out there,” sales coordinator Keith Elliott told reporters on Tuesday that he was traveling home to Ohio for the holidays to put in some solid networking time with his family. “Christmas is a great opportunity for me to really work the room, and I’m hoping to make some big contacts, especially on my mom’s side of the family,” said Elliott, who mentioned that he would “definitely try to get in some good face time” with his dad, who works in retail. “You just never know which sibling or nephew might have an ‘in’ for you somewhere, so it’s really important to cultivate personal, win-win relationships with all of them.” Elliott added that he planned on enclosing his business card in his gift to his second cousin Steven Brolin, who reportedly “knows some of the higher-ups over at a Fortune 500 company.”

HT: Scot McKnight

Jon Stewart on the Rhode Island "Holiday Tree" Controversy OR Did Congress Ever Meet on Christmas?

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Stewart has a lot right here, but he may be in error on at least one point.  David Bruce Forbes explains in a thorough post at Religion & Politics.

Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce Springsteen album before moving forward with additional economic stimulus initiatives. “If Mr. Springsteen puts out an E-Street Band project with one rave-up and several tracks containing an overarching theme of redemption, the president will certainly take that as a strong indicator of economic recovery,” said press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that an album cover featuring an American flag would be “extremely promising.” “However, if he records a stark, haunting, Nebraska-esque exploration of blue-collar life, then it is time to lower interest rates and take immediate steps toward drastically reevaluating our current strategy.” The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape.

You gotta love The Onion!

Standing Corrected

The good folks at American Creation have called me out for a “minor” error in my post “Maybe America Was Meant to be a Christian Nation After All.” Apparently the first constitution of New York DID have a religious test oath. While this is slightly embarrassing, I am actually very glad that I tried out some of this material in the blogosphere before I made the same error in my forthcoming book. Thanks to Ray Soller for catching this mistake. I should add that I still stand by my larger argument in the post.

As long as we are discussing being corrected for errors, I thought you might enjoy this hilarious piece by Craig Silverman in the Columbia Journalism Review. Silverman has a website that chronicles various “corrections” made in newspapers around the English-speaking world. He has even written a book on the topic. His CJR piece lists some of the stranger corrections that have appeared in newspapers during the past year. Here is a taste:

From the LA Times: Bear sighting: An item in the National Briefing in Sunday’s Section A said a bear wandered into a grocery story in Hayward, Wis., on Friday and headed for the beer cooler. It was Thursday.

From the Guardian: A reply to a question in Notes & Queries yesterday recommended purchasing lion and tiger urine from Chester Zoo to stop neighbourhood cats from urinating in a vegetable patch (G2, page 17). Chester Zoo would like to forestall requests for its big cats’ urine: it asks us to make clear that it does not in fact sell either tiger or lion urine. Many years ago the zoo sold elephant dung, but it no longer does.

From the Independent (UK): Further to the reference in the paper on 14 June to Rebekah Wade allegedly hitting her first husband, Ross Kemp, after a “drinking bout” with David Blunkett, Mr Blunkett has been in touch to correct the record: “the alleged ‘drinking bout’ was a cup of tea at 5.30 in the evening (with witnesses including Rupert Murdoch)… There was no ‘drinking bout’, I’ve never been involved in such a ‘drinking bout’ – with or without Rebekah Wade”.

I will now go back to trying to properly interpret obscure eighteenth-century state constitutions!