Tips for Holiday Networking from "The Onion"

NEW YORK—Emphasizing the importance of “developing contacts and getting your name out there,” sales coordinator Keith Elliott told reporters on Tuesday that he was traveling home to Ohio for the holidays to put in some solid networking time with his family. “Christmas is a great opportunity for me to really work the room, and I’m hoping to make some big contacts, especially on my mom’s side of the family,” said Elliott, who mentioned that he would “definitely try to get in some good face time” with his dad, who works in retail. “You just never know which sibling or nephew might have an ‘in’ for you somewhere, so it’s really important to cultivate personal, win-win relationships with all of them.” Elliott added that he planned on enclosing his business card in his gift to his second cousin Steven Brolin, who reportedly “knows some of the higher-ups over at a Fortune 500 company.”

HT: Scot McKnight

Jon Stewart on the Rhode Island "Holiday Tree" Controversy OR Did Congress Ever Meet on Christmas?

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The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
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Stewart has a lot right here, but he may be in error on at least one point.  David Bruce Forbes explains in a thorough post at Religion & Politics.

Obama To Wait For Next Bruce Springsteen Album For Word On Economy

WASHINGTON—Faced with the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the White House announced Tuesday that a cautious President Obama is awaiting the release of the next Bruce Springsteen album before moving forward with additional economic stimulus initiatives. “If Mr. Springsteen puts out an E-Street Band project with one rave-up and several tracks containing an overarching theme of redemption, the president will certainly take that as a strong indicator of economic recovery,” said press secretary Robert Gibbs, adding that an album cover featuring an American flag would be “extremely promising.” “However, if he records a stark, haunting, Nebraska-esque exploration of blue-collar life, then it is time to lower interest rates and take immediate steps toward drastically reevaluating our current strategy.” The president has reportedly eschewed the supplementary Mellencamp Little Pink Housing Index used during the Reagan administration, as economists now widely believe it conveys a derivative, shallow view of the American fiscal landscape.

You gotta love The Onion!