12 thoughts on “Fox News: “Elites” Want to Move America Toward the “Global Tyranny” of the Metric System

  1. Professor, Massmind, this subject brings to memory a personal bit of Oral History: the WEIRDEST anti-Metric rant I have ever come across.

    This was around 10 years ago, in a used-bookstore crawl in what was then the largest used bookstore in my county. I came across a reprint of some Late Victorian fringe literature, Secrets of the Great Pyramid or similar title.

    To those unfamiliar with Pyramidology, this was a widespread Fringe Literature of Victorian England, equivalent to the stuff you hear on Coast to Coast AM around 3 Ayem. The premise is that God in some way Willed the Great Pyramid of Giza to be built as a sort of “Bible Prophecy in Stone”, with an entire History Written in Advance contained in the measurements and angles and orientation of the pyramid and its internal spaces — only when measured by a special “Pyramid Inch”.

    So I read through it. Typical Victorian Pyramidology (as explained above), fringy but coherent, kind of like Von Daniken and Ancient Astronauts today. Don’t remember much of a Conspiracy angle, and never did figure out how a Pyramid Inch differed from the Anglo-American one.

    Then I got to the last chapter (or appendix; don’t remember exactly after all these years). The only thing I could compare it to is the Unabomber Manifesto or Nesfa WIlliams’ French Revolution — making some sense until the last section, when suddenly you take a hard turn into Completely Weird City where 2 + 2 = Purple not 5. (ALL CAPS and BOLDFACE not Victorian but appropriate.)

    In this case, a chapter-long run-on kook rant out of nowhere about the SATANIC Metric System (contrasted with God’s commanded Pyramid Inches), created by SATAN himself when the French rebelled against their God-Ordained Monarchy by Divine Right by. A whole chapter long. Over ten years gone and I still remember the experience.


  2. Also, try to add these in your head:

    3 feet, 7 11/16 inches
    + 3 feet, 7 11/16 inches
    1.11 Meter
    + 1.11 Meter

    It’s the same Calculation. But with customary units it becomes impracticable to do even simple addition in your head.


  3. To me, “global elites” or “world government” or “Deep State” is today’s code name for “The Elders of Zion”. The names change, but the Grand Unified Conspiracy Theory stays the same under its new coat of paint.

    And “world government”, especially “ONE World Government”, is a special dog-whistle to the Christianese base. (“Six Sixty-Six! Don’t take The Mark!!!!!”) Ask any survivor of The Gospel According to Hal Lindsay and Christians for Thermonuclear War.


  4. Oh, I’m sure of it.
    The Anglosphere were the late adopters in the Metric game, probably from its origin by Britain’s rival France AND association with the French Revolution. And the USA isthe last and latest of the Anglosphere to adopt.

    Back in the Seventies, there was a knock-down-drag-out about this very subject, with both “METRIC NOW!” and “STOP METRIC MADNESS!” fanatics slugging it out in the media. As it typical in American One True Way Politics, both sides fought each other to a standstill; all it accomplished was two-liter soda bottles. Everybody looked at the fighting freaks, shrugged, and went on measuring in “plain old feet and inches and miles”.

    During this, I remember stand-up comics (especially That’s Incredible one of the proto-Reality Shows of the period) doing a shtick where they would take a common saying that included measurements and translate into Metric — to seven or eight decimal places:

    “Both teams are lined up on the 45.72009144-meter line!”
    “Give him 25.4 millimeters and he’ll take 0.9144018288 meters!”
    This just locked into a whole generation of American minds that Metric was ONLY for high-precision Science Geeks (without “common horse sense like the rest of us”), Not Repeat NOT for everyday use.

    P.S. I was once accused of being The Antichrist around that time because I gave a measurement in metric.


  5. I do a lot of my engineering in metric. If you deal with mass AND force you really cant work in customary units. If you know what a ‘slug’ is you know what I’m talking about.


  6. I couldn’t tell if you were joking or serious until I realized you quantified your time in decades. Very clever.


  7. [whispering] Wait until they figure out where the Hindu-Arabic numeral system came from……..or algebra. [/whispering]


  8. My career was in analytical chemistry. I retired after more than three decades at my last place of business.
    I would have just LOVED to do my job working with ounces and teaspoons rather than grams, milliliters etc where everything is in multiple units of ten!


  9. It’s not ‘Mercian. Nuff said.

    What gets me is that Tucker “Swanson heir” Carlson was a keynote speaker at a couple of Wall Street industry conferences I attended a few years back. He doesn’t talk this way in front of business audiences, so you can bet your last dollar it is just an act.

    I really doubt he could be invited to many of these events anymore, though, given his toxic turn


  10. I saw this story playing at the gym where Tucker Carlson is always glaring down at me from one of the screens. He was invoking Robespierre who apparently this metric thing all goes back to. I actually wondered if anyone had written a cultural history of metrication and its opponents ( I suspect they have), given that fear of metric also figures quite a lot in anti-EU Brexitish talk in Britain (see the “Metric Martyrs” who refused to sell their fruit in metric). I’m sure it has something to do with common versus civil law and Anglo-American notions of liberty and historical Francophobia…


  11. Conservatives who fear “global elites” or “world government” or “European bureaucrats” are like 6 year olds fearing imaginary monsters in the closet. I’m astonished this line of fear-mongering still works, but in brain dead Fox News zombie land I guess it does. And what was ever so bad about the metric system?


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