A citizen in Washington D.C. is looking for a lawyer on Craigslist:
Seeking a lead attorney to represent client involved in an ongoing Federal investigation. Must be familiar with laws and procedures around discovery, executive privilege, international financing of licensed real estate, election law and the Logan Act. Working knowledge of social media, especially Twitter is a plus, as is a better than average knowledge of the adult film industry and a collection of Playboy magazines from 1985-2010. Must look the part – Gregory Peck or Tommy Lee Jones type. Prior appearances on Fox News a huge plus.
Must be prepared to work with a client who is very forceful and opinionated about his defense and is his own best counsel.
Basically your job boils down to keeping him from testifying under oath and hoping the rest comes out in the wash.
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