The Oxford Comma Has An Online Dating Profile

CommaI always use the Oxford comma, so I appreciated Molly Collins‘s piece at McSweeney’s. Here’s a taste:

Full Name: Oxford Stanford Comma
Nickname (s): Real, slim, and shady
Age: Debated
Height: 12 pt.
Body Type: Curvy
Occupation: Point of Clarification
Seeking: Adjectives, verbs, and participles within a 0.1-centimeter radius.

About Me

I recently moved to this paragraph, so I don’t know any punctuation here. I’ve got a sequence of esteemed, beloved, and admirable attributes. In my previous clause, I was heralded as staunch, stout, and necessary. I’m one with which to have a good, great, and grand time, and I’m in touch with my wants, needs, and emotions, and I’m not afraid to get declarative, imperative, interrogative, and exclamatory for a pretty, prim, and proper part of speech. I need a babe, baby, or bae that likes to tour, travel, and trip to exotic locales, locations, and luxurious destinations and even fancies the quainter quests, like hanging out On the Banks of Plum Creek, cuddling on the side of a Cold Mountain, and forgiving me for getting her Lost in Tokyo.

Read the entire thing here.